A Lot Ado About Sex With Lesbians | Autostraddle

It has been a huge week for homosexual-related basic individual narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual magazines!

All of our first portion comes to us via xojane, the ladies’s website went up by Jane Pratt (my personal character)

(i am serious) of

Sassy

and

Jane.

Entitled ”
I am a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this piece is part of the “it just happened if you ask me” feature that also existed at JANE mag and consists mostly of writer/reader-submitted reports of subjectively fascinating private encounters.

The private author of this part, whom I’ll call “Ariel,” is bisexual, but because she readily provides strike tasks to her male associates but does not date or often go-down on ladies, the woman is, she explains, commercially, only a ”

Lesbian

Pillow Princess.” (She also relates to herself as “mostly right” and “direct” at different things inside the narrative.) Her reputation began, she clarifies, whenever her very first lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke called Kelly at her school — took place on her behalf for an hour or so. She la-la-la-loved it after which right away fled the world fearing her own incapacity to execute these fantastic cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a prolonged period.

She produces:

“obviously, phrase had gotten around that she and I also had hooked up which I would left the lady holding, which in fact had the unusual aftereffect of giving myself folk-heroine status. Kelly labeled as myself a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I was one. It had been like some type of movie conceit where in actuality the character is actually seen erroneously as a hollywood and gets to drive in a limo and stay in a fancy resort as a result of it.”

This seemingly entirely exercised inside her favor, as she romped about in school starting up with lots of “aggressive types exactly who got off about proven fact that I found myself unwilling to allow a girl touch me personally.” Post-college, she shifted into internet, where she advertised this lady comfortable standing and often met up with ladies for NSA intercourse.

Close to the end she problematically clarifies that whenever connecting with a woman she is not attracted to, she just shuts her sight and envisions another person “while [the lesbian] really does her thing.” Sometimes it seems like she wants ladies to eat the woman away because they can be allegedly better at it than the male is. She

could

go lower on it but “I’m not dating all of them, and I also do not think i might wish to have my personal fetish corrupted by looking after a person enough to hand back.”

I’dn’t want to sit down next to Ariel on an aircraft, but the woman one-sided intimate activities tend to be consensual and she’s only informing a genuine story of her life, so I’m not really sure what you should model of this (and I also’m curious to understand what you create from it, if such a thing).

Then, on Jezebel (via
The Great Men Project
) there is
I hitched a Lesbian (And I’m men)
. Mcdougal, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended for crushes on the same variety of woman: the celebrity basketball user, the football forward, the swimmer. Some were lesbians. Some weren’t.” The guy wondered:

What-is-it that received me personally so often to women that had been same-sex drawn? It really wasn’t the stereotypical male dream regarding what they certainly were performing between the sheets, also it truly had nothing at all to do with a macho notion that I could turn a gay woman straight.

In parts, the piece (which does tred on some stereotypical surface) reminded me of the quotation from

Girls Next-door

,
which I quoted in a write-up about female masculinity
:

“…if we had in order to make one other generalization about lesbian taste, it could be that the majority of us are incredibly drawn to ladies, gay or directly, breathtaking or otherwise not, who seem as though they could eliminate on their own.”

Mcdougal eventually marries a lesbian just who delivered as direct, in which he discovered their own ensuing love life to be unsatisfactory. She would not give him strike jobs and didn’t love penetration but gladly approved their offerings of cunnilingus. When their own sexless wedding finished in separation and divorce and a drug relapse (for him), he could be seemingly compassionate to their ex-wife’s battle as opposed to marking the woman as misleading (as many from the commenters carry out):

She had come from a traditional household who would have-been seriously embarrassed having a homosexual son or daughter. She may will have identified, but did this lady far better hide it, maybe hoping that her thoughts might alter. Or she might have been like many women I identified, and just found the woman genuine sexual identity after currently becoming married to a person.

What is actually redeeming about this essay to me that the author’s conception of his personal gender is mostly without the conventional masculine posturing one might count on in a bit similar to this (the guy actually makes reference to himself as “femmy”). Maybe it just seems that means because guys so rarely talk about hoping powerful, athletic, powerful women with short hair; but it is refreshing nevertheless.

I do not mistake Hugo or Ariel for informing their particular tales, but it is well worth mentioning that both narratives apparently ride regarding the idea that bedroom conduct will be the ultimate/only litmus test of sexuality. Hugo and Courtney enjoy one another’s company, but Hugo cites Courtney’s disinterest in penetration as a “warning sign” the guy missed, whenever entrance is hardly an exclusively heterosexual act (it seems more likely Courtney dreaded the intimacy of entrance with men she don’t wish to-be with, but really who knows) and slipping crazy, finally, is focused on your pussy but it’s also concerning your heart and it’s really generally about having passionate feelings. Those romantic thoughts are the thing that turns a hook-up commitment into a relationship, all things considered.

Eventually at

neurological.com

there is a sweet tale directly through the pony’s throat —
My First Time: Female. 17. Bay Area
. I do believe this is basically the first time the “first-time” series features included a lesbian.

Essentially, in ninth grade, the author confessed to her closest friend that she had lesbian feelings on her behalf, and her closest friend reciprocated, and they proceeded to continue a stealth lesbian commitment and are however with each other today and she actually is a grown-up in military!

This indicates they have but to simply take their connection from the dresser, in fact it is a little puzzling, but whatever

. [

ETA

: works out this story was written before DADT had been repealed, even though it just got printed, consequently nothing is puzzling taking place right here. This is just straight-up sweet in just about every method, unequivocally.]

The focus regarding the piece (that will be very attractive and nice) is found on the writer’s development of
what lesbian gender is quite
:

Look at this now: /sex-chat-room.html

We’d never been down for each some other, and I was pretty sure that’s what we’d meant when we said we desired to have sexual intercourse. (Now we recognize that there is a lot more to fucking than slurping a woman’s pussy and phoning it everyday.)

She concludes:

I am aware that a lot of men and women differ as to what virginity means to a gay girl, but virginity is entirely subjective, and it truly is dependent upon the person you’re inquiring. People might state penetration must be included, but I think its as much as the person shedding his or her virginity. Basically feel I’ve missing my personal virginity, subsequently goddammit, I have!

I spent all of the morning and mid-day watching wordpress, trying to puzzle out what point I could create about some of these pieces. I was thinking lots about the reason we’d never release “I became a Lesbian Pillow Princess” on this subject internet site but are unable to see through the reason that I would worry 50 of you would vow to never get back here therefore the remaning many-thousands people would battle with each other about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure up until the heating death of the world. We pictured some body publishing “I happened to be a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to all of us via e-mail then We thought the article meeting where we’d arrive at that story and all sorts of say “NO” concurrently.

In seeking a time to gleam because of these stories, I’ve attempted to determine what you might think or say, and I also cannot, and I also need to finish this blog post asap to accelerate the whole process of me finding out what you think about these stories. Yup, the very first time since that time starting Autostraddle, I’ve got little idea what you should say about anything. Thus possibly i will simply ask you to answer — what exactly is the a reaction to these pieces?